Oh Bloggy thingy, I haven't seen you. I have been meaning to write, but I always put it off. For someone with a solid work ethic, this whole procrastinating thing is seriously bullshit.
You know when you know a thing, you know it, but you don't feel it until later. When I was really young, a teenager, people would always tell me that I seemed wise beyond my years, I was an old soul. That's well and good, so then why did I fuck up so much, old souls are idiots too?
For all that I've learned and all that I've lost, I still do really stupid shit. I believe in things that probably won't ever be. I give people way too much credit. Most people just don't care as much about anything other than their own agendas. I care far more than the average person. About everything. Not politics. I don't care about laws and rules that other people make, whom I don't respect, or know, or agree with. But almost everything else in the practical world matters to me. And if I look at it more closely I shouldn't care about what anyone else is doing. Deep down I don't. This concern is superficial, it was handed down to me by my culture. I've been told what I am supposed to care about. Now I'm trying to undo it all.
I spent a few minutes today moving ants so that my pool water didn't kill them with my flip turns. How can anyone ever call me an impatient person? Why isn't this a paying job? All day son, all DAY. Best sighting today- hawk sharing a wire with 2 finches who must have been shitting their finchy little pants because the hawk was eyeing them. This hawk must have been a female, it was in brown phase, It was huge. They can see very far, it could see the green of my eyes from where it perched, easily.
Tonight I said fuckit and took a lot of oil. Like, a lot. Like, double. If I don't wake up until 2 or 3 tomorrow, this is why. But, CANNABIS OIL CURES CANCER and FUCK CANCER so if I don't wake up that early it's okay, I should be dead anyway. I was told 1.5 - 3 years is all I had and it's been over 4. I'm still here and you can suck it, cancer.
If I don't go to bed soon, this blog will read shthaogaosnt,aertkeshfodsvnadlr34woi!
I was misdiagnosed at 30 years old being told I was too young for breast cancer. I now have stage IV cancer. I treat myself with alternative + western medicine. It's been an uphill battle all the way, but I have stopped to smell every rose and pet every dog I see. I've truly loved being alive.
