Water

I'm in love. With life. With every waking day. With my ocean view. I'm in love with solar warmth, cooling rain, gentle spring breezes and every butterfly. I love the butterflies. They hit these otherwise invisible air-bumps, careening sort of out of control, wobbling on but getting somewhere, somehow. They are like tissue paper floating around in the sun.

I'm still sick, but I feel a little better than yesterday. Maybe the garlic I ate is going in there and, "POW!" "SMASH!" "BOOM!". I'm even entertaining the idea of going to the pool. I am in no shape to work out but maybe just getting into the water and being in the sun at the same time will have more benefit than my detoxifying Epsom salt baths? I need water.

In Nepal I was missing baths so badly that when I got to Dhampus and saw there was a bathtub in my room I almost jumped up and down clapping, That could be a memory, I probably did do that. It was dark though by that time so I didn't have enough hot water being that all heated water is solar. I filled it to about 6 inches high. It was a little more than lukewarm but I enjoyed lying back in that water with a huge smile on my face as if it were the best bath I'd ever had. I thought of the Warm Springs Apache taking baths in freezing cold streams while being hunted by White Eyes, how can one ever complain.

It's a sin to complain. Things change so rapidly that while you're busy complaining some other good thing is happening that you are missing. When your reason to complain is over you are then left feeling like a chump. I'm not saying I will never complain again, it's where so much funny material comes from, actually that's different. Real complaining is the whiny, why me, why now, why why why sort of drama so many wear like a tangle of chains and locks around their person. It's an excuse to not change.

Every person knows misery, fear, guilt, unhappiness. The difference between happy people and unhappy people is that happy people know things change and that they are in control of facilitating change while unhappy people blame. It's happening "to me". That is a fundamental difference. I am no luckier than I ever was at any other time but a certain way of looking at life has opened doors for me that were not there previously. I could sit in blame and fear all day long, but why do that. It's poison to the moment. I'm about living and being happy as much as I can be. There is no one to blame for anything that happens to you in life, not ever. Don't get caught up in that, you won't stand a chance.

I think I will put on a bikini for the first time in 2 months and, eek, go to the pool. I'm coughing like a pphhhool, but I gotta live. Get out there and do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. If you are comfortable in life you aren't doing it right. This is always your opportunity to feel alive and to grow. Blessings, you monkeys.